This is actually an old one from my myspace page but I thought I would revisit it here. I haven't been as disciplined in my movie viewing this year but there's still time. Even though October is gone, Halloween still lives on.
1. Always be in the company of someone bigger, stronger and handier with weapons than you are. Self-reliance is overrated.
2. Pay attention to your pets. Animals always know when something is up.
3. Stop babysitting. Children are rarely targets of mass murderers. They'd be better off on their own.
4. If you're concerned about a friend, call the police. Never attempt to investigate a potential murder yourself. Trust me, your private investigating skills are not as strong as you think.
5. Check the backseat of your car before getting in. Thoroughly.
6. NEVER assume someone is dead unless there's a tag on their toe and rigormortis has set in. Even then, continue to keep your distance.
7. Learn how to fashion weapons out of everyday objects: knitting needles, wire hangers, keys, fireplace pokers. You get the picture.
8. Women, get this through your head - stalking is not charming.
9. Always, always, always make sure you have your keys before leaving the house.
10. Whatever happens, run. Don't look back. Just flee! Seriously.
4 months ago
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